Is Anyone There?

Throughout my life it has often been difficult for me to understand how God speaks to me.  I know that God answers prayers, but how? 

This past Sunday one of my new friends came to church.  It was her second time at church.  She told us that the previous week at church she had felt something new, something she had never felt before.  At first the feeling frightened her, but then she realized everything just felt right.  As I think about my life and the different answers to prayers I have received I realize that this simple feeling of "rightness" is how my answers usually come.

Deciding to serve a mission was a bit of a process for me.  To be honest, it's not something I ever wanted to do.  It was never in my plans.  Then, about three years ago, I had the smallest thought. "Maybe, just maybe, I should go on a mission."  That thought didn't leave me for an entire week.  I believed that God was telling me to serve a mission.  So, even though I didn't really want to, I began the process of coming on a mission.   I finished all the doctor appointments and paper work.  But it never felt right.  I felt like I was forcing it.  I ended up putting it on hold, on the back burner.  I finished earning my degree and had all sorts of plans for what was next, plans that didn't include a mission.  Then I had the smallest thought; "maybe I should go on a mission now."  Again, this thought stayed with me for about a week.  This time, I was scared.  I had already been through the process of trying to come on a mission, and it didn't work.  What if that happened again?  I wasn't really certain what to do, but I decided to try one more time.  This time it was different.  I didn't feel like I was pushing it as much as I had the first time, but I still wasn't completely sure if this was truly what God wanted me to do.

I didn't really know until my first day as a missionary.  The first day as a missionary is a little bit hectic.  I had suddenly entered this whole new world.  A world I didn't really know how to navigate.  But instead of confusion and fear I simply felt at peace.  Somehow I just knew that I was where I was supposed to be.  That I was doing what Heavenly Father wanted me to do.  I just knew.

One of my favorite scriptures from the Book of Mormon is from a prophet named Nephi.  He says: "the Lord God...speaketh unto men according to their language, unto their understanding" (2 Nephi 31:3). I love that God doesn't want us to be confused.  He speaks to us in a way that we will understand.  He knows me so well, that He knew just how to tell me that I was in the right spot.  And He knows you too.

I don't know why I had to struggle for so long not knowing.  Maybe God wanted me to act on my faith without absolutely knowing.  But I do know that God answered my prayer.  I know that He has always answered my prayers, and I know that He always will.